conversation at happy hour

My husband and I were able to have drinks at a local happy hour tonight, sans les files. This is part of our conversation.....

Me: I need to dye this weekend.
Him: I need to dye, I want to dye, I must dye. Does this mean the kitchen sink should be clean? Are you sure you want to dye?
Me: Yes, i need to dye. Will you help me?
Him: Well, I will run hot water for you, but I will not assist you with dyeing.
Me: Oh, sure. If you loved me, you would help me dye.
Him: The kids can help you. If I do it, I could go to jail. The kids will totally get off.
Me: so you’ll run hot water, but you won’t help me with dyeing. Wuss.
Him: Hey, consider yourself lucky, I am happy to let you dye. Most guys would have issues with that.